those who've gone ahead

my friend kim, has been a blessing in so many ways...she's been home with her sweet shiloh now a month this upcoming friday...she's given great practical advice...i can't tell you how much this has meant to kent, natalie & i...we will be on the same journey to china before to long...i look at shiloh and i see a sweet, SMART, cutie pie ;) she's such a fortunate little girl to have such a wonderful parents & big sister dakota ;)

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

this verse was sent to me today by another friend...i found it very appropriate to use today after having lunch with kim, dakota & shiloh...God does IMMEASURABLE more than i've asked or imaged...God truly is Cool!

enjoying a life of health and healing

Lord, i pray that You would deliver emma lael from any destruction, disease, or injury that could come upon her. Specifically, i ask You to heal emma lael's heart. when we see dr. hanaway at sibley cardiology, i pray that You, Lord, have chosen this particular doctor specifically for emma lael. give dr. hanaway wisdom and full knowledge of the best way to proceed. thank you, Lord, that You suffered and died for emma lael so that she might be healed. i lay claim to that heritage of healing which You have promised in Your word and provided for those who believe. i look to You for a life of health, in emma lael, healing, and wholeness for her.

but to you who fear My name the Sun of righteousness
shall arise with healing in His wings.
malachi 4:2

Psalms 139:13

Psalms 139:13
For you created my innermost being you knit me together in my mother's womb.

webster dictionary defines mother:
1: a female parent b (1): a woman in authority; specifically: the superior of a religious community of women (2): an old or elderly woman
2: maternal tenderness or affection


as i read Psalm 139:13 today i began to think about emma lael's birth mother...God wanted emma lael to be knitted in her womb...not mine...but her's....God has now chosen emma lael to be my daughter...and me to be her MOTHER... this is truly a gift unlike any other...no, not her biological mother but her MOTHER...in my option the greatest gift give to women by God is to be a mother biological or by adoption...to be a mother doesn't mean you have to birth that child...for me, it means loving your child with every thing you've got... i high five mothers all over the world...thank you God i'm a mother & thank God for my mom.

paperwork & visa

just when i think i've got this adoption paperwork figured out i quickly realize i am CLUELESS...how is it possible that i've been doing this now for 10 months and am still so confused on what comes next???? thank God for jenna... my dear friend who has held my hand multiple times during these past 10 months...she knows this paper work in and out...it's as if she has a computer in her head i can ask her anything and she doesn't even hesitate she spills out the answer...she is amazing i tell you amazing....thank you jenna.

a glimpse of the adoption paperwork for wu li yun...get this...this is only part of it...thank God i'm so organized...i was on the phone trying to find the correct person to tell at NVC that our daughter chinese name is spelled wrong...an "o" were and "u" should be changes everything...after many phone calls and a couple hours i found someone who knew what to do...thank you God for people who do know what to do in situations such as this.

we got our visas today...i can now get my red pen and put a check mark on my to do list next to VISA.
with each passing day we get closer to that special day when we meet emma lael...i have so many people to thank amy,lily,jenna,kim,karla... without these ladies i honestly don't know how i'd ever get to use my red pen...i love that pen ;)

natalie's blog

natalie my 14 year old precious, perfect, fantastic, beautiful, smart, athletic, caring, follower of Jesus, kind, loving, ambitious, creative, helpful, an answered prayer, my blessing, my heart, my daughter (i could go on and on) has started her own blog...if interested check it out
http://mylifethroughgodsplan.blogspot.com

as her mom... i look forward to reading her blog to see how natalie sees life from her point of view.

God's timing is perfect

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5)

pretty in pink

wild olive tees

wild olive tee's i can't say enough about...the message on each t-shirt are awwww inspiring i own 3 myself and gave one to a friend as a gift...she loved it...go ahead take the plunge purchase a wild olive tee NOW!

JOY

as i heard the door bell ring today at 11:37...hoping it was our sweet fedex lady...i had 3 teenagers (lyns my daughter from another mother haha) behind me equally as excited as i was to see our LOA...the smiles on their faces holding that LOA document just fills my heart with complete JOY knowing that emma lael has a brother who thinks she's so darn cute....a big sister who can't wait to hold her in her arms.
THANK YOU Jesus for garrett & natalie open hearts to love this precious little girl your blessing our family with...i've finally stopped crying (HAPPY TEARS) over the fact that we really are going to bring her home...those who know me know i am a big cry baby always have been...poor emma lael she won't know what to do when i meet her for the first time i hope i don't freak her out when i start crying.

LOA

our LOA (letter of acceptance) came today HIP HIP HOORAY
this means we will be traveling to bring emma lael home in 8-12 weeks.

surrendering to my pride

i've been thinking all day about when we will travel to china...God spoke to me very clearly today...i've become prideful with my o.c.d characteristics...i'm very proud of how i'm always on top of things...every "I" dotted every "T" crossed...until today i've always thought that was something to be PROUD of... today i see differently...during this adoption process no matter how efficient i am with all the piles of paper work it really doesn't matter because i have NO control over any of this....i read an email from a friend it really hit me like a brick she was talking about sarah & hagar and in chapter 16 of genesis verse 13 it says Him who sees me...God sees me where i am...He's going to bring us to emma lael when He knows the timing is perfect for HER not for us...the adoption of emma lael isn't about kent, garrett,natalie or myself it's about a 3 year old little girl in china that God has hand picked to be our daughter...she needs our family...not sure why??? He's chosen us for such a perfect little girl...we're far from perfect....we've made several mistakes in our parent roles...still God has given us this huge blessing of emma lael...i know God sees directly in our hearts He knows we have a heart for children that's what matters to Him....with all that said, i'm okay with september or november...i've got to stop being so controlling and allow God to do His works in me so i can be the best mommy for garrett, natalie & emma lael...i will try my very best to sit back and watch what God has in store for us all...i have a feeling it's something far beyond anything i could ever image...to SURRENDER that is the message i received today from our gracious & loving Heavenly Father.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA LAEL

dear emma lael,
today you'll celebrate your 3rd birthday...i hope you special day is filled with lots of cake & ice cream...your foster grandparents love you very much...they have nurtured you back from open heart surgeries they are a huge part of your first 3 years i will do my best to tell you all i know about them.
it won't be long until your forever family will come to bring you home...my heart aches when i think of the confusion, grief, trauma you will experience when that day comes...for us it will a time of JOY...for you a time of confusion...i pray each and every morning that God will prepare your heart in away only God can letting you know that the grief will be short and your future so BRIGHT filled with LOVE.
we are celebrating your birthday today with a birthday cake & ice cream...YUM YUM...no, you won't be present at your birthday party nor will you have any idea what is going on across the globe...we celebrate your life and thank God for YOU...as your fast asleep i pray you dream happy dreams.
garrett talks about us taking you to his college soccer games.
natalie has already asked her volleyball team if you can be the ball girl.
daddy he's just waiting to hold you in his arms and spoil you...you deserve it sweet girl!!!
as for what will you & i do OMG we have so much to do our days will be packed with stories about Jesus and how much Jesus loves you, trips to the park, feeding the ducks at lake peachtree, teaching you to swim, introducing you to all the people who helped to bring you home and who love you so much emma lael.
emma lael i can't find the words to express the joy you've brought to us already...I LOVE YOU

Lord, i come to You in Jesus name and give emma lael to You. i'm convinced that You alone know what is best for her. You alone know what she needs. I release her to You to care for and protect, and i commit myself to pray for everything concerning her that i can think of or that You put upon my heart. teach me how to pray and guide me in what to pray about. help me not to impose my own will when i'm praying for emma lael, but rather enable me to pray that Your will be done in her life. thank You that i can partner with You in raising emma lael and that i don't have to do it alone.
the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them
Psalm 103:17,18

xo xo xo xo
mommy

gracious receiver

to receive a gift can be difficult for me at times...i love getting gifts but i always feel like when someone does something for me or gives me something i need to return the favor...this week i got a phone call from a lady who wanted to order "emma wear" we talked for a good while she offered to give me clothes that her daughter had grown out of...i could tell from her tone of voice she really wanted to give her daughter's clothes to emma lael...i was very touched...during the conversation i said i will give you the t-shirts you want for the clothes...she said "NO, i want emma lael to have these clothes" she really meant it...i was sitting in our dining room which is now were i make all the "emma wear" t-shirts i leave my sewing machine up all the time...natalie was sitting with me while i was talking...when the conversation ended natalie said something like "mom you have a hard time accepting gifts don't you?" i thought about that and said "yeah, i guess your right" then she said "do you like giving people gifts?" i replied "yes, i do more than anything" a conversation began about being a gracious receiver when i don't allow someone to bless me i take away the joy that is in their giving heart and i thought about how nice it feels when you give something to someone...God wants us to be gracious receivers as well as gracious givers.

i've had on my mind for several months how will i get involved with mother's with children that are 3???? emma lael won't be put into pre-school until she turns 4??? the gap between my age and a twenty something year old mom seemed huge to me....this person that had called me told me her daughter just turned 3 last week i told her emma lael will be 3 july 5...we began talking about getting ella & emma lael together when we settled in with emma lael...i told her about garrett going off to college & natalie starting high school i told her i most likely will be called emma lael's grandma i told her i was 46 she said she was 42...then she said "i will run you over to get that handicap parking place" i knew at that moment i'd found a new friend...let me tell you she is so FUNNY she had me laughing several times during our conversation...the term we use in the south is "she's a HOOT ;0)"...God answered a prayer for me that i'd found my connection to the toddler world again...thank you Jesus.

she also know a lady who teaches chinese to children her in our community...we've decided we would like emma lael to maintain her mandarin chinese language...God brought this women into my life for many reasons...God is always with us and if we trust and have faith He'll provide the answers to our prayers.

birthday girl

monday july 5 emma lael will turn 3...we obviously won't be with her to celebrate her birthday but we will celebrate her 3rd birthday her at home with a birthday cake for emma lael...we sent her a birthday package 10 days ago as of yesterday they hadn't received it yet...hopefully they will get it today.
i wonder if her birth parents think about her on that day? in my heart i feel they must remember july 5...emma lael was found in a hospital corridor...a place that her birth mother knew someone would find her newborn baby girl...she was found immediatly the reports say...infant girl found at 1-2 days of life...thank you God for the person who picked up this tiny bundle and brought her to the police station in hothot, inner mongolia on that hot july 5, 2007 day...what was going through her mother's mind on that day? was she unmarried pregnant teenager? was she a mother who had delivered her 2nd child in a country that only allows 1 child per family who prefers boys? those questions i will never know the answer to...i've decided to not even try and figure out what was going through emma lael's birth mother's mind...i can tell you my heart hurts for her because no matter what the reason was she felt she had to abandon her newborn baby girl it wasn't easy for her...most likley something she didn't want to do but felt she had to do.
i was just thinking yesterday that it would be the best birthday present for emma lael if we received our LOA document on her birthday.
a quote i read several years ago just seems to stick in my mind these days:
"if we wait for the moment when everything absolutley everything is ready, we shall never begin." turgenev
i have no idea why we didn't adopt when we were in our thirties the answer that continues to come to me is that God didn't think we were ready until now.