Sunday, August 29, 2010
showered with LOVE
today was emma lael's shower...i can't put into words how much it meant to me to have my friends around me today celebrating emma lael...while i was looking around the shower today i thought about emma lael sound asleep across the world unaware of the shower that was give in her honor.
each gift she was given today will be forever remembered in my heart...when natalie, kent & i put her gifts away we said several time "emma lael will LOVE this".
THANK YOU amy, kristi & beth for this special day...every detail will never be forgotten.
the reality hit me today more than ever that i am a mother of 3...no, it doesn't matter that i've not meet her or ever touched her...my heart knows emma lael and this only come from God.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
TA
we got our TA today...will know tomorrow or friday when we leave for china...OMG this is really happening.
Judges 3:10
throughout the old testament, as in judges 3:10, i see that the spirit of the Lord "came upon" people and gave them power, wisdom, or ability beyond what they naturally had.
outer power comes from inner purity and the inner purification (or sanctification) is a work of the Holy Spirit living within us. He wants to fill us with His Spirit and give us the power to live the abundant life that is available through believing in Jesus Christ.
as i read judges 3:10 i felt peaceful...as many adoptive parents know the emotions run the gamut from one end of the emotion spectrum to the other...the long process from home study...finding out who God has chosen for your child...waiting for this document & that document...although each document brings you closer to your child it still can be a time of stress for many.
as we wait for one more date our consulate appointment date i am often finding my wheels inside my head turning full force...i wake up at night with my "to do list" in large bold print...i woke up the other night at 3 a.m. to be reminded i hadn't packed one pair of panties for emma lael...last night i woke up wondering how do i send in bills when i've not gotten the bill yet...another night i woke up worried about leaving garrett her (he's in college) while we are all in china then remembered we can skype him...oh yeah my husband, kent is sound asleep every single night ;0)
as i read judges 3:10 i know that God will give kent, natalie, my mom & i power, wisdom and abilities beyond what we naturally have during our time in china...this is were i must match my actions with my words...TRUST GOD...i've had to tell myself over & over again when i step on the plane headed for beijing that i'm no longer in control the paperwork is done...the packing is done...it's in God's hands and He will get emma lael through this huge transition in her life...He will guide each of us on what do to...what not to do to help emma lael through this time in her life.
outer power comes from inner purity and the inner purification (or sanctification) is a work of the Holy Spirit living within us. He wants to fill us with His Spirit and give us the power to live the abundant life that is available through believing in Jesus Christ.
as i read judges 3:10 i felt peaceful...as many adoptive parents know the emotions run the gamut from one end of the emotion spectrum to the other...the long process from home study...finding out who God has chosen for your child...waiting for this document & that document...although each document brings you closer to your child it still can be a time of stress for many.
as we wait for one more date our consulate appointment date i am often finding my wheels inside my head turning full force...i wake up at night with my "to do list" in large bold print...i woke up the other night at 3 a.m. to be reminded i hadn't packed one pair of panties for emma lael...last night i woke up wondering how do i send in bills when i've not gotten the bill yet...another night i woke up worried about leaving garrett her (he's in college) while we are all in china then remembered we can skype him...oh yeah my husband, kent is sound asleep every single night ;0)
as i read judges 3:10 i know that God will give kent, natalie, my mom & i power, wisdom and abilities beyond what we naturally have during our time in china...this is were i must match my actions with my words...TRUST GOD...i've had to tell myself over & over again when i step on the plane headed for beijing that i'm no longer in control the paperwork is done...the packing is done...it's in God's hands and He will get emma lael through this huge transition in her life...He will guide each of us on what do to...what not to do to help emma lael through this time in her life.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
we have been Heaven blessed
i love this song...every time i hear it i just cry...image that ;).
on february 5, 1995 (kent's 33rd birthday) we found out that we were going to have a baby "GIRL"...when those words came out of the ultrasound techs mouth kent's eyes immediately filled with tears he was so HAPPY we were having a girl...he leaned over and told me he wanted a girl...this was the first time he'd ever mentioned this to me...he would soon have his "daddy's girl"...a daughter...a spit & image of himself.
2 weeks later i was told it would be very likely i wouldn't carry her to term...at 12weeks of pregnancy with garrett i began contracting...with natalie i began to contract at 13 weeks...i had a port put in my right thigh that would administer medication to keep the contractions at bay...i would have between 30-100 contractions a day...i was hooked up to a monitor that would send in my contracting strips directly to a monitoring office that would relay this information to my doctor...i was on complete bed rest from 13 weeks until she was delivered at 35 weeks gestation...garrett was 3 years old and he would grab onto my legs and beg "mama pick me up" my heart would break each time he'd ask me to pick him up...he would stand on the coach i'd stand up next to the coach i'd hug him real close as if i was picking him up he would wrap his legs around my midsection...all he wanted was for him mama to pick him up...bless his heart...we hired a young lady to stay with us during the day...kent would work full time... come home cook dinner...bath garrett read him a book and put him to bed...then he'd care for his girls natalie & i :)...God, i LOVE this man...we'd sit on the coach he's place his hand on my BIG pregnant belly feeling the contractions as my belly would tighten up...then a kick now and then from ms. natalie.
august 26 at 11:20 a.m. my port was removed...i was FREE able to walk around...pick up garrett... kent took me to lunch i was no longer fearful that my actions would cause my baby girl to be born early...we ordered birth announcement we had the best time that afternoon...as i type this i remember the restaurant in pittsburgh, pa the booth we sat in...60 minutes after the port was removed the contractions hit hard...i'd have to breath...breath...breath and breath some more...they were painful but i knew that if she were born that day she would be okay.
august 26 at 11:17 p.m. natalie was delivered via emergency c-section at Allegheny hospital...when she was handed to kent he held her tight to his chest the tears flowed like a river...my surgical drapes were drenched from his tears...i was strapped down on the surgical table my arms were strapped down but i was able to touch her chubby soft cheeck...my heart was full knowing she was healthy...a baby girl with coal black hair...olive skin the "spit & image" of her daddy...he is very handsome and natalie was beautiful...she was a mirror image of her daddy she had not one outward resemblance of me...today she has my personality and her father's great looks ;) she's beautiful inside & outside.
i will never know if emma lael was born via vaginal delivery...c-section...was her birth father with her birth mom....was she born in a hospital...was she born at home....did her birth father cry when he first saw her face...i know they loved her very much NO one can tell me any different...the circumstances that brought them to make the decision to abadon emma lael i can't judge...i can only THANK them for bringing this precious angle to this world...as the time get closer our family to welcome our newest child...our newest daughter...i have once again began to listen to stevie wonder isn't she lovely.
Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Emma Lael
The meaning of her name belonging to God
God,it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"my boy" off to college
today was another one of those days i've thought about for several months now...a great day for garrett...it is wonderful & heart warming to see your child doing something God truly intended him to do...since he was old enough to talk he would tell me "mama i'm gonna be a solider man" that is toddler talk not 18 year old talk ;)...he is now a corps of cadet at north georgia college & state university in the beautiful georgia mountains...he was accepted at VMI, the Citadel, Texas A&M and he chose NGCSU because he felt like he "fit" he said when we went to visit the school last summer...when we took him to NGCSU today he was all smiles following kent & i in his bright yellow truck on the interstate...he's been packed for weeks now...ready to go...ready to start a new chapter in his life...ready to acheive more goals...ready to push himself mentally & physically...saying goodbye was short & sweet kent shook his hand & patted him on the back saying "good luck i love you"... i hugged him told him i loved him then we walked away...i looked back at him he had a big smile on his face as to say "i'm going to do great"... i didn't shed a tear nor did i feel like i was leaving my first born child in a place that wasn't for him...somehow, i knew that he is where he wants to be and where God has placed him...i am very proud of you garrett...your a son every mother would be proud of...i thank God everyday for YOU...spread your wings and do what God has placed in your heart to do...fulfill all your dreams...your dad & i are behind you 100%.
I LOVE YOU
mom XO XO XO XO XO
Saturday, August 7, 2010
thursday things to pray for
pleases join me in "thursday things to pray for"...this idea comes from kelly...i'm very happy to be a part of this...every thursday check out my blog to see what i am praying for and please join me in praying for my specific prayers....if you have a blog please leave a comment...i will check out your "thursday things to pray for" and join you in praying for your specific prayers.
I LOVE this idea...just LOVE it...thanks kelly ;)
I LOVE this idea...just LOVE it...thanks kelly ;)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Ephesians 5:1. "be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children" (NIV).
focusing on and striving to imitate our heavenly Father is an important responsibility every believer in Christ has been given.
we were created to live a life worthy of our calling and to reflect the beauty of our Lord Jesus Christ
we will become beautiful women of Godly influence when we put 1 Corinthians 11:1 into practice. "follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (NIV).
those all came from the devotion i read this morning....i, myself often looking at other women and "think" to myself...why can't i cook like she does...why don't i look like that....why isn't my life as put together as her's is.
i LOVE my life...i love myself very much...i still think to myself why did God make me the way He did??? i was telling my friend just yesterday how i'm beginning to get nervous knowing in 8 weeks we will be with emma lael in china...meeting her for the first time...taking her away from her entire life....i told that friend i relate this feeling to when you ask for something for Christmas really in your mind you know the chances of getting that gift aren't very good but you still ask for it...then on Christmas morning you open up a beautifully wrapped box and it is exactly what you'd asked for...feelings of OMG i can't believe i really got this...do i really deserve this...the feelings of gratitude are over whelming...i keep asking God WHY are we the lucky family who will be emma lael parents... it's not like we deserve to be her parents...we've done nothing to deserve such a wonderful little girl...as i read my devotion this morning it hit me like a ton of bricks...i need to focus on imitating my heavenly Father instead of questioning Him constantly on why He does what He does in my life...history shows me very clearly He knows what He is doing...after all, what i want most is to be the women God has designed me to be...i am beginning to understand who i am....who He's designed me be...and wants me to do...i'm comfortable in my skin...i haven't always been comfortable in my own skin..."I" will become beautiful women of Godly influence when "I" put 1 Corinthians 11:1 into practice. "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (NIV)...i'm will do my very best to follow Jesus example as He clearly states in His word.
focusing on and striving to imitate our heavenly Father is an important responsibility every believer in Christ has been given.
we were created to live a life worthy of our calling and to reflect the beauty of our Lord Jesus Christ
we will become beautiful women of Godly influence when we put 1 Corinthians 11:1 into practice. "follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (NIV).
those all came from the devotion i read this morning....i, myself often looking at other women and "think" to myself...why can't i cook like she does...why don't i look like that....why isn't my life as put together as her's is.
i LOVE my life...i love myself very much...i still think to myself why did God make me the way He did??? i was telling my friend just yesterday how i'm beginning to get nervous knowing in 8 weeks we will be with emma lael in china...meeting her for the first time...taking her away from her entire life....i told that friend i relate this feeling to when you ask for something for Christmas really in your mind you know the chances of getting that gift aren't very good but you still ask for it...then on Christmas morning you open up a beautifully wrapped box and it is exactly what you'd asked for...feelings of OMG i can't believe i really got this...do i really deserve this...the feelings of gratitude are over whelming...i keep asking God WHY are we the lucky family who will be emma lael parents... it's not like we deserve to be her parents...we've done nothing to deserve such a wonderful little girl...as i read my devotion this morning it hit me like a ton of bricks...i need to focus on imitating my heavenly Father instead of questioning Him constantly on why He does what He does in my life...history shows me very clearly He knows what He is doing...after all, what i want most is to be the women God has designed me to be...i am beginning to understand who i am....who He's designed me be...and wants me to do...i'm comfortable in my skin...i haven't always been comfortable in my own skin..."I" will become beautiful women of Godly influence when "I" put 1 Corinthians 11:1 into practice. "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (NIV)...i'm will do my very best to follow Jesus example as He clearly states in His word.
Monday, August 2, 2010
li yun
i received my jiayin charm today...my charm says li yun that is emma lael's chinese name...i plan to wear it now then pass it on to emma lael one day...i surprised natalie with a charm that says big sister...she loves it just like i knew she would ;)
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