wild olive tees

wild olive tee's i can't say enough about...the message on each t-shirt are awwww inspiring i own 3 myself and gave one to a friend as a gift...she loved it...go ahead take the plunge purchase a wild olive tee NOW!

JOY

as i heard the door bell ring today at 11:37...hoping it was our sweet fedex lady...i had 3 teenagers (lyns my daughter from another mother haha) behind me equally as excited as i was to see our LOA...the smiles on their faces holding that LOA document just fills my heart with complete JOY knowing that emma lael has a brother who thinks she's so darn cute....a big sister who can't wait to hold her in her arms.
THANK YOU Jesus for garrett & natalie open hearts to love this precious little girl your blessing our family with...i've finally stopped crying (HAPPY TEARS) over the fact that we really are going to bring her home...those who know me know i am a big cry baby always have been...poor emma lael she won't know what to do when i meet her for the first time i hope i don't freak her out when i start crying.

LOA

our LOA (letter of acceptance) came today HIP HIP HOORAY
this means we will be traveling to bring emma lael home in 8-12 weeks.

surrendering to my pride

i've been thinking all day about when we will travel to china...God spoke to me very clearly today...i've become prideful with my o.c.d characteristics...i'm very proud of how i'm always on top of things...every "I" dotted every "T" crossed...until today i've always thought that was something to be PROUD of... today i see differently...during this adoption process no matter how efficient i am with all the piles of paper work it really doesn't matter because i have NO control over any of this....i read an email from a friend it really hit me like a brick she was talking about sarah & hagar and in chapter 16 of genesis verse 13 it says Him who sees me...God sees me where i am...He's going to bring us to emma lael when He knows the timing is perfect for HER not for us...the adoption of emma lael isn't about kent, garrett,natalie or myself it's about a 3 year old little girl in china that God has hand picked to be our daughter...she needs our family...not sure why??? He's chosen us for such a perfect little girl...we're far from perfect....we've made several mistakes in our parent roles...still God has given us this huge blessing of emma lael...i know God sees directly in our hearts He knows we have a heart for children that's what matters to Him....with all that said, i'm okay with september or november...i've got to stop being so controlling and allow God to do His works in me so i can be the best mommy for garrett, natalie & emma lael...i will try my very best to sit back and watch what God has in store for us all...i have a feeling it's something far beyond anything i could ever image...to SURRENDER that is the message i received today from our gracious & loving Heavenly Father.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA LAEL

dear emma lael,
today you'll celebrate your 3rd birthday...i hope you special day is filled with lots of cake & ice cream...your foster grandparents love you very much...they have nurtured you back from open heart surgeries they are a huge part of your first 3 years i will do my best to tell you all i know about them.
it won't be long until your forever family will come to bring you home...my heart aches when i think of the confusion, grief, trauma you will experience when that day comes...for us it will a time of JOY...for you a time of confusion...i pray each and every morning that God will prepare your heart in away only God can letting you know that the grief will be short and your future so BRIGHT filled with LOVE.
we are celebrating your birthday today with a birthday cake & ice cream...YUM YUM...no, you won't be present at your birthday party nor will you have any idea what is going on across the globe...we celebrate your life and thank God for YOU...as your fast asleep i pray you dream happy dreams.
garrett talks about us taking you to his college soccer games.
natalie has already asked her volleyball team if you can be the ball girl.
daddy he's just waiting to hold you in his arms and spoil you...you deserve it sweet girl!!!
as for what will you & i do OMG we have so much to do our days will be packed with stories about Jesus and how much Jesus loves you, trips to the park, feeding the ducks at lake peachtree, teaching you to swim, introducing you to all the people who helped to bring you home and who love you so much emma lael.
emma lael i can't find the words to express the joy you've brought to us already...I LOVE YOU

Lord, i come to You in Jesus name and give emma lael to You. i'm convinced that You alone know what is best for her. You alone know what she needs. I release her to You to care for and protect, and i commit myself to pray for everything concerning her that i can think of or that You put upon my heart. teach me how to pray and guide me in what to pray about. help me not to impose my own will when i'm praying for emma lael, but rather enable me to pray that Your will be done in her life. thank You that i can partner with You in raising emma lael and that i don't have to do it alone.
the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them
Psalm 103:17,18

xo xo xo xo
mommy

gracious receiver

to receive a gift can be difficult for me at times...i love getting gifts but i always feel like when someone does something for me or gives me something i need to return the favor...this week i got a phone call from a lady who wanted to order "emma wear" we talked for a good while she offered to give me clothes that her daughter had grown out of...i could tell from her tone of voice she really wanted to give her daughter's clothes to emma lael...i was very touched...during the conversation i said i will give you the t-shirts you want for the clothes...she said "NO, i want emma lael to have these clothes" she really meant it...i was sitting in our dining room which is now were i make all the "emma wear" t-shirts i leave my sewing machine up all the time...natalie was sitting with me while i was talking...when the conversation ended natalie said something like "mom you have a hard time accepting gifts don't you?" i thought about that and said "yeah, i guess your right" then she said "do you like giving people gifts?" i replied "yes, i do more than anything" a conversation began about being a gracious receiver when i don't allow someone to bless me i take away the joy that is in their giving heart and i thought about how nice it feels when you give something to someone...God wants us to be gracious receivers as well as gracious givers.

i've had on my mind for several months how will i get involved with mother's with children that are 3???? emma lael won't be put into pre-school until she turns 4??? the gap between my age and a twenty something year old mom seemed huge to me....this person that had called me told me her daughter just turned 3 last week i told her emma lael will be 3 july 5...we began talking about getting ella & emma lael together when we settled in with emma lael...i told her about garrett going off to college & natalie starting high school i told her i most likely will be called emma lael's grandma i told her i was 46 she said she was 42...then she said "i will run you over to get that handicap parking place" i knew at that moment i'd found a new friend...let me tell you she is so FUNNY she had me laughing several times during our conversation...the term we use in the south is "she's a HOOT ;0)"...God answered a prayer for me that i'd found my connection to the toddler world again...thank you Jesus.

she also know a lady who teaches chinese to children her in our community...we've decided we would like emma lael to maintain her mandarin chinese language...God brought this women into my life for many reasons...God is always with us and if we trust and have faith He'll provide the answers to our prayers.

birthday girl

monday july 5 emma lael will turn 3...we obviously won't be with her to celebrate her birthday but we will celebrate her 3rd birthday her at home with a birthday cake for emma lael...we sent her a birthday package 10 days ago as of yesterday they hadn't received it yet...hopefully they will get it today.
i wonder if her birth parents think about her on that day? in my heart i feel they must remember july 5...emma lael was found in a hospital corridor...a place that her birth mother knew someone would find her newborn baby girl...she was found immediatly the reports say...infant girl found at 1-2 days of life...thank you God for the person who picked up this tiny bundle and brought her to the police station in hothot, inner mongolia on that hot july 5, 2007 day...what was going through her mother's mind on that day? was she unmarried pregnant teenager? was she a mother who had delivered her 2nd child in a country that only allows 1 child per family who prefers boys? those questions i will never know the answer to...i've decided to not even try and figure out what was going through emma lael's birth mother's mind...i can tell you my heart hurts for her because no matter what the reason was she felt she had to abandon her newborn baby girl it wasn't easy for her...most likley something she didn't want to do but felt she had to do.
i was just thinking yesterday that it would be the best birthday present for emma lael if we received our LOA document on her birthday.
a quote i read several years ago just seems to stick in my mind these days:
"if we wait for the moment when everything absolutley everything is ready, we shall never begin." turgenev
i have no idea why we didn't adopt when we were in our thirties the answer that continues to come to me is that God didn't think we were ready until now.